HOUSE AND FRONT YARD
By William Mansfield
This drawing depicts my parents' front yard, with their house in the background. It is a large yard, sloping upward to the house, filled with several tall hardwood trees. It is based on photographs I took in mid-morning, a couple of days after my Mother passed away.
A few months before my Mother passed away, during the summer of 2010, a deer began to visit her. The deer would jump the fence into her yard, and would lie in the sun outside her bedroom window, which is in the right side of the drawing obscured behind the tall bushes. I had never seen the deer myself, but my Mother talked about him regularly during our phone conversations. She described him as a very large buck, and being a nature lover she was clearly excited to have him as a regular visitor. She always loved seeing birds, squirrels and other animals in her yard, and she loved to describe herself reading a book in her bedroom while she could see the buck lying just outside her window.
I got the call on a Friday evening that my Mother had passed away, and my wife Kelly and I drove from Chicago down to Bloomington very early Saturday morning. When we arrived we put our dogs on leash and took them out in the back yard. We rounded the corner of the house near my Mother’s bedroom window, and there was the buck standing right in front of us. I almost passed out, because I was emotionally distraught and lacking sleep, and the surprise of seeing the deer almost knocked me over. The buck was huge! He was easily the largest deer I have ever seen in my life. He stood absolutely motionless, staring at us. It was a beautifully bright, sunlit fall morning, and the early morning sunlight filtered through the autumn leaves creating dappled patterns on the buck’s tan coat. He stood so still that for a moment I was not sure if he was real, and I had the fleeting thought that perhaps my Mother had developed a taste for giant lawn ornaments.
Our dogs, Kelly, and I also stood
absolutely still, staring back at the buck. This was out of character for our
dogs, which are very high strung terrier mixes who usually bark at anything that
moves. I would have expected our dogs to go ballistic barking when surprised by
a large deer, but they did not make a sound or move a muscle. The five of us
stood completely still and stared at each other, the buck, the two dogs, Kelly
and me, a few feet from my Mother’s bedroom window, where she had passed away
the day before. I was holding the leashes for both dogs, and Kelly was standing
a few feet behind me. She had seen the buck lying down on the grass outside my
Mother's bedroom window, which I did not see, and the buck stood up when he saw
us. He had been lying in the grass, which was covered with fallen autumn leaves
of yellow and orange, and Kelly described seeing an indentation in the leaves
and grass where he had been lying. She also thought he was huge, and she
described herself looking up at him towering over her, his antlers glowing in a
halo of early morning sunlight. Both Kelly and I have seen a lot of deer in our lives, but neither of us had ever seen anything like this buck, who towered over us, staring back at us while standing as still as a marble sculpture.
It was only a moment, shimmering before our eyes like a sudden flicker of light and shadow, but it seemed like we all stood and stared at each other for hours. Suddenly the buck moved, and he coiled his legs and then sprang away, bounding across the yard with high leaping steps. When he reached the fence he jumped over it, clearing a five foot fence effortlessly with plenty of room to spare. He ran across the road, which luckily was free of traffic, and he zig-zagged across our neighbor’s property which sloped down on the other side of the road. He disappeared into a grove of trees that bordered that property, and he was never seen again.
Later I told this story to a family friend who has an interest in and knowledge of animal mysticism. She told me that in ancient Celtic mythology there was a mythical buck or white stag. The stag would appear when someone passed away in order to escort that person into the afterlife, and would also appear at other times of momentous change in a person’s life. I had chills up my spine when my friend told me this, and I later did some online research to learn more. I learned that there are many cultures throughout the world which associate deer with the Otherworld in their mythology. I have never been a believer in animal mysticism, and honestly had never given it a second thought. I have always felt that human beings project qualities onto animals that may have nothing to do with the animals themselves. An eagle is proud, a dog is loyal, a snake is low and devious – all these are human projections onto the animal which may have little to do with the animal’s own life.
In spite of my skepticism, I have come to believe that the buck was sent into my Mother’s life for a purpose. Another friend thought that the buck embodied the spirit of my Father, and that he represented my Father returning to be my Mother’s male companion in the last months of her life, and to escort her into the afterlife. Given that my Father had been a polio victim who walked with a leg brace his whole life, it seemed appropriate that his spirit would return in the form of a buck, an animal who could run like the wind and jump high fences effortlessly. It seemed as though the buck had waited for me during the day after my Mother passed away, standing guard over her and the house until I arrived. Once I arrived his work there was done, and he could disappear. It is certainly a strange coincidence that after months of regular visits into my Mother’s yard, the buck suddenly disappeared the day after she passed away, and immediately after I arrived. Prior to this event I was ambivalent about the existence of a higher power, and I had not been raised with any definitive religious upbringing. My parents were both spiritual people, but my Father in particular was very skeptical about organized religion, so I was never raised as part of a church. The meeting with the buck remains shrouded in mystery for me, a spiritual vision that made me believe in the existence of a Higher Power.
By William Mansfield
This drawing depicts my parents' front yard, with their house in the background. It is a large yard, sloping upward to the house, filled with several tall hardwood trees. It is based on photographs I took in mid-morning, a couple of days after my Mother passed away.
A few months before my Mother passed away, during the summer of 2010, a deer began to visit her. The deer would jump the fence into her yard, and would lie in the sun outside her bedroom window, which is in the right side of the drawing obscured behind the tall bushes. I had never seen the deer myself, but my Mother talked about him regularly during our phone conversations. She described him as a very large buck, and being a nature lover she was clearly excited to have him as a regular visitor. She always loved seeing birds, squirrels and other animals in her yard, and she loved to describe herself reading a book in her bedroom while she could see the buck lying just outside her window.
I got the call on a Friday evening that my Mother had passed away, and my wife Kelly and I drove from Chicago down to Bloomington very early Saturday morning. When we arrived we put our dogs on leash and took them out in the back yard. We rounded the corner of the house near my Mother’s bedroom window, and there was the buck standing right in front of us. I almost passed out, because I was emotionally distraught and lacking sleep, and the surprise of seeing the deer almost knocked me over. The buck was huge! He was easily the largest deer I have ever seen in my life. He stood absolutely motionless, staring at us. It was a beautifully bright, sunlit fall morning, and the early morning sunlight filtered through the autumn leaves creating dappled patterns on the buck’s tan coat. He stood so still that for a moment I was not sure if he was real, and I had the fleeting thought that perhaps my Mother had developed a taste for giant lawn ornaments.
Our dogs, Kelly, and I also stood
absolutely still, staring back at the buck. This was out of character for our
dogs, which are very high strung terrier mixes who usually bark at anything that
moves. I would have expected our dogs to go ballistic barking when surprised by
a large deer, but they did not make a sound or move a muscle. The five of us
stood completely still and stared at each other, the buck, the two dogs, Kelly
and me, a few feet from my Mother’s bedroom window, where she had passed away
the day before. I was holding the leashes for both dogs, and Kelly was standing
a few feet behind me. She had seen the buck lying down on the grass outside my
Mother's bedroom window, which I did not see, and the buck stood up when he saw
us. He had been lying in the grass, which was covered with fallen autumn leaves
of yellow and orange, and Kelly described seeing an indentation in the leaves
and grass where he had been lying. She also thought he was huge, and she
described herself looking up at him towering over her, his antlers glowing in a
halo of early morning sunlight. Both Kelly and I have seen a lot of deer in our lives, but neither of us had ever seen anything like this buck, who towered over us, staring back at us while standing as still as a marble sculpture.
It was only a moment, shimmering before our eyes like a sudden flicker of light and shadow, but it seemed like we all stood and stared at each other for hours. Suddenly the buck moved, and he coiled his legs and then sprang away, bounding across the yard with high leaping steps. When he reached the fence he jumped over it, clearing a five foot fence effortlessly with plenty of room to spare. He ran across the road, which luckily was free of traffic, and he zig-zagged across our neighbor’s property which sloped down on the other side of the road. He disappeared into a grove of trees that bordered that property, and he was never seen again.
Later I told this story to a family friend who has an interest in and knowledge of animal mysticism. She told me that in ancient Celtic mythology there was a mythical buck or white stag. The stag would appear when someone passed away in order to escort that person into the afterlife, and would also appear at other times of momentous change in a person’s life. I had chills up my spine when my friend told me this, and I later did some online research to learn more. I learned that there are many cultures throughout the world which associate deer with the Otherworld in their mythology. I have never been a believer in animal mysticism, and honestly had never given it a second thought. I have always felt that human beings project qualities onto animals that may have nothing to do with the animals themselves. An eagle is proud, a dog is loyal, a snake is low and devious – all these are human projections onto the animal which may have little to do with the animal’s own life.
In spite of my skepticism, I have come to believe that the buck was sent into my Mother’s life for a purpose. Another friend thought that the buck embodied the spirit of my Father, and that he represented my Father returning to be my Mother’s male companion in the last months of her life, and to escort her into the afterlife. Given that my Father had been a polio victim who walked with a leg brace his whole life, it seemed appropriate that his spirit would return in the form of a buck, an animal who could run like the wind and jump high fences effortlessly. It seemed as though the buck had waited for me during the day after my Mother passed away, standing guard over her and the house until I arrived. Once I arrived his work there was done, and he could disappear. It is certainly a strange coincidence that after months of regular visits into my Mother’s yard, the buck suddenly disappeared the day after she passed away, and immediately after I arrived. Prior to this event I was ambivalent about the existence of a higher power, and I had not been raised with any definitive religious upbringing. My parents were both spiritual people, but my Father in particular was very skeptical about organized religion, so I was never raised as part of a church. The meeting with the buck remains shrouded in mystery for me, a spiritual vision that made me believe in the existence of a Higher Power.